Life in Christ

have you ever feel that you want to go and leave everything behind? have you feel like you been doign a geat things then all of a sudden something went wrong and you cant fix it? have you ever feel like that life is easy and things are all good and everything is falling in the right places?, then suddenly there was a big wave comes your way and you start realizing that things are falling apart.
Reality is , that life is not ok, not everything is good not everything is in places, you want it to be that way but its not, things happen in our life that we are not in control, not what we plan for, not we expecting to happen,. but it happen.
I was ready to tell myself, Alleny you lose your done , things are not good run away and leave everythign,.go and find easy way out and things will be ok again,.but then i realize,., hey my life is not that bad not as messy, like some drug addicts or alcoholics.
Things happen in my life that i cant control and did not plan for, but its not the end of the world and i know that i am still having a good life,. i am in my own battle now, battle that only i can either lose or win,. depending on how will i handle it, my life will always be in a battle somehow,I know that this will come and will shake me up , and i thought i was ready for it and i am prepared if things happen so i thought, And then i realize that my life is been contantly on the test, but only now that everythign is happening alot at the same time and thats why i really feeling it and hurting and struggling alot,. maybe my job is on the line, and soon i will maybe jobless,. and maybe soon i cant recognize myself anymore since im breakign out all over my face. but i will not give up and lose myself since I am a child of God and still holding on to his promise,. i will always remind myself that i will be constantly be in a test and satan will try to break me and kill me and will put me in a lot of different circumstances and situation of my life, I will experience hardship and dissapointments more so now and in coming days, because I am getting closer and serving the Lord, leading a worship and holding a position in our local church and my husband being an associate pastor, there will be alot of trials and persecution. But the Lord said be still, I am still the Lord God that whose in control. So its up to me,. should i trust the lord and hold on to his promise and stand firm have faith to our Lord Jesus, or should i say Im done and deafeted, Satan win over me and i will be lost in the hands of the enemy?